I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
