i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
