He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
there was a trapeze. enough said
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
