I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
