I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
