I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
