ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
where does the pee come out of this thing
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
