I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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