I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
