Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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