everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
