bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize