I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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