have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
