I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
