I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize