shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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