It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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