if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
