You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
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I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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