you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
