oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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