Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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