Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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