I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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