is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
