i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Randomize
