my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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