...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
