So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
two words: eviction party
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
