dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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