O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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