was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
