I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
