Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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