I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
