my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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