why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
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Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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