you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
