the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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