This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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