The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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