Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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