wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think people are normalizing furries
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize