grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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