he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
