is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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