I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
