i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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