She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
