I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize