Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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