I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Non-Jews are for practice
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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