It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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