When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
