I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Everclear isn't food dammit
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
