dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
pray to the hookup gods
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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