You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There's always time for handjobs
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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