new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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