My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize