My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
