My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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