On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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